1. Always remember that it is never ok to force a woman to have sex with you even if:
   1. She teases you, leads you on or dresses provocatively.
   2. You have had sex with her before.
   3. You paid for her dinner or bought her expensive gifts.
   4. You think that she enjoys being forced to have sex or wants to be persuaded.
   5. The woman is under the influence of alcohol or drugs
2. "No" means "no." There are no two ways about this, if she says no and you don't accept it, you might raping someone who you thought meant yes.
3. Make sure that you are listening to what your partner is actually saying and not to what you want to hear. If a woman says "no," she means no, even though you may believe that she is "playing hard to get."
4. If you have any doubts about what your partners, Stop, Ask, Clarify. It is better to stop what you are doing and make sure it is what you both want than to continue with out checking and risk committing rape.
5. Silence does not mean consent.
6. If a woman is unsure about whether or not she wants to have sex, don't put pressure on her, you could be forcing her into doing something that she doesn't want to do.
7. Communicate early on. Communication is key on both sides, you must make clear to her what your desires are and listen to what hers are. If this is done early on, chances are that you will prevent a situation where you might commit rape from occurring.
8. The fact that you are intoxicated is not a legal defense to rape. You are responsible for your actions whether or not you are sober.
9. Your desires may be beyond your control, but your actions are well within your control. Sexual excitement does not justify forced sex. You have the ultimate control over what you do.
10. Don't assume that her desire for affection is the same as her desire for intercourse. Just because she goes to your room, it does not mean that she wants to have sex with you. She could just want to have some sexual contact, but not have intercourse.
11. A woman who turns you down for sex is NOT rejecting you as a person.
12. Stay in touch and make sure that what you are hearing is actually what she is saying, don't let yourself get carried away in the heat of the moment.
13. Taking advantage of someone who is mentally or physically incapacitated (under the influence of alcohol or drugs) is rape.
14. Be aware that a man's physical size and presence can be intimidating and that a woman may not fight back simply for that reason. If she doesn't fight back it can still be rape.

Page Last Modified: Tuesday, April 06, 2004