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How to avoid situations where you are at risk of being
raped:
- Decide early on whether or not you want to have sex and express those feelings
to your partner early on.
- It is your body, so take control of it, if your partner is doing something
that you don't want them to or is going to far, firmly and clearly tell them
to stop.
- Don't give mixed messages, say "yes" when you mean "yes" and "no" when
you mean "no." Be assertive when you say these things, because the more assertive
you are, the more likely your partner is to listen and hear what you are
saying.
- Be aware of the non-verbal signals that you are giving. Even though you
may be saying "no" your partner may interpret your physical actions as meaning
more than what you are saying. If you are giving physical signals (even if
they are unintentional) that contradict what you are saying your partner
may interpret the "no" as you "playing the game" and wanting to be persuaded.
- Be forceful, firm and assertive. Don't worry about being polite, say what
you feel and be strong when you are saying it. Don't do anything you don't
want to simply to avoid making a scene or causing unpleasantness.
- Acknowledge situations that may possibly be dangerous, and always try to
find an escape route just in case you may need one.
- Bring your own transportation if at all possible so that you are not relying
on your date or whomever you are with. Also, avoid secluded places where
you may be vulnerable.
- If you are unsure of a new acquaintance or date, go out in a group or on
a double date. Be careful of who you invite into your home or whose home
you go into as most rapes occur in the home of the attacker or victim.
What to do if someone tries to rape you:
- Stay calm and try to figure out what options you may have and how safe
it may be to resist. Try to figure out the easiest way out of the room, and
if there are other people around etc.
- Say "no" and be affirmative about it, let the perpetrator know that you
are serious.
- Say something like "Stop it, this is Rape." This may shock the rapist into
stopping.
- Try to act quickly as the longer you are in the situation, the fewer options
for escape you will have.
- If the attacker is armed your options are limited quite a bit, you can
try talking them out of it, but do not want to risk serious injury or even
your life by doing much more.
- If the attacker is unarmed your options are somewhat more varied
- Fight back physically if possible, punch your attacker in the Adam's
apple, poke their eyes, kick them or hit them with a lamp or some other
object.
- Runaway if at all possible, the faster you get out of the situation,
the better.
- Shout "fire," as people are more likely to come help if you do that
than if you shout, "help." Fire is something that effects everyone, where
as if you yell, "help" people may be hesitant to get involved.
- Try to talk your attacker out of it by appealing to their humanity
and decency, tell them that what they are doing is rape and is hurting
you.
- If you can use passive resistance, such as forcing yourself to throw
up, do so.
- Try to gain his confidence so that he might let his guard down giving
you a chance to escape.
Page Last Modified: Tuesday, April 06, 2004
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